ACOA Characteristics

ACOAs...

1.) ...guess at what normal behavior is.
2.) ...have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3.) ...lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4.) ...judge themselves without mercy.
5.) ...have difficulty having fun.
6.) ...take themselves very seriously.
7.) ...have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8.) ...overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9.) ...constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10.) ...usually feel that they are different from other people.
11.) ...are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12.) ...are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13.) ...are impulsive and tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsiveness leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend and excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Torn Emotions

I miss blogging...

At the moment, I'm feeling rather jealous because my boyfriend is out "having pizza" with his soccer team after he said earlier that he wouldn't have time to come visit me. Granted, this is completely acceptable and fine (I'm a decent 30 minute drive from him, anyway), and we did not have plans. But let's be real: I'm upset because I'm sure he's having a few beers.

I guess I should restate that as well--for once, I'm not really feeling jealous. I'm more thinking I'm feeling jealous. The difference? My muscles aren't tense, and I don't have the urge to scream. But I wonder why I even care at all.

But then I think about all the times I went to my dad's softball games when I was young. I loved watching him play, and cheering him on, and dancing around when the team won. What I didn't like was getting stuck there till all hours of the night, waiting for the beer to run out. I went as far as dunking my head in a cooler of melted ice and flinging around my long hair screaming "Look, I'm in a Pantene Pro-V Commercial! I've got hair so healthy, it shines!" But hardly anything could get his attention away from the "festivities" that surrounded them.

Are my thoughts regarding the current situation resurfacing from feelings of the past? Am I in need of some overdue attention that makes a subconscious connection between someone else drinking and not talking to me?

The research would suggest this is true. I'm exemplifying a few ACOA characteristics in this situation: need for attention, thinking the world revolves around me, and wanted to shake the boat while the water is calm (I'm really wanting to ignore the boyfriend's phone call when he calls, just to make like I'm upset), and probably more...

Ugh, I hate games. Mind games, beer games, the game of Life (except the board game, I like that...)...

Right now I need to figure out how to comprehend not feeling upset, but not wanting to feel okay with him being out... I was having such a happy-go-lucky night, too, and now I think I'll just go to bed...

Do you ever feel like this?

Posted by Curious Student at 9:25 PM 0 comments
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